Journal

7/28/2025: Shrine ideas- Ghost bc, Jango Fett (or mandalorians in general?), transformers...

7/27/2025: Reminder to fix photo gallery captions + add entries to journal for media log + dream log...

7/15/2025: Saw Ghost live for the second time! They played Elizabeth for the first time in like 8 years what! Reminder to make a shrine page for them!

3/30/2025: My own lost media is Osorio's Meditation by Plagues... give me my calming study music back man :(

Song to remember: Gatecreeper - starved/sick of

8/3/2025: ALIEN ROMULUS (spoilers)

7.5/10

Don't have too much to say about this movie other than that it was good, I think it does a great job with the suspense / dread of what the characters are experiencing. I swear this was the most stressed out I've ever been watching a movie wow! It felt like an earlier alien movie (Alien/Aliens) but way more gross and gorey. They really wanted to show the facehuggers "tentacle" going down people's throats in full detail every single time it was killing me haha... and the wall "cocoon" that the xenomorph was growing in... I don't even know what to say to that other that man it was hard to watch that scene. Obviously though I understand the themes of sexual assault/rape that the movie is using this imagery to evoke, which was also prevalent in the original movies. It's definitely a lot more pronounced in this movie which to some probably feels heavy handed, but I think this kind of gross-out imagery is meant to catch your attention. It's done on purpose to both really drive home the themes as well as to take the body horror elements of the franchise to the next level!

On another note the xenomorph and "offspring" designs were actually incredible!! Love that they were practical suits (and that a lot of the creatures like the facehuggers were all practical as well), and the actors who portrayed them did really good as well! I was going crazy at the end of the movie when the offspring first appeared, definitely one of the most frightening creature designs I've ever seen! Please never show me it again!!/j

7/26/2025: SUPERMAN 2025 (spoilers/thoughts)

9/10

Peak superhero cinema is so back, and with a message to be kind... I love it!! Aesthetics and just visual wise on its own such a beautiful and colorful movie! Everything looks almost right out of an actual DC comic book, especially the superhero costume designs! They are so colorful and full of life to me and especially Mr. Teriffic's is a standout to me (the design is so good and the T mask?? I can't believe it looks so good in live action)! Mr. Teriffic, Krypto and Guy Gardner (just the Justice Gang in general) were all highlights of the movie, on top of a great performance and take on Superman himself. The second I saw both Superman and Clark Kent saying things like "gosh" and "what the hey" I knew that his character was in good hands, and the fact that he is primarily focused on saving and protecting people, not just on fights, shows me James Gunn truly understands who Superman is. I mean he goes out of his way to save anyone, not just humans, but animals as well! Squirrels, dogs, the giant creature attacking Metropolis, he wants to protect all life on Earth! Not to bring in Snyder's version of the character for comparison but I honestly coudn't imagine him doing these kind of actions. Whenever I saw Snyder's Superman I didn't really see a guy who helped people, just a super stoic serious guy who was super powerful and fought other powerful figures, and while that does make up some part of Superman I also feel that he just forgot the rest of what really makes up the core of the character. He's supposed to be kind, doing whatever he can to help, kinda goofy and fun at times. In general I just think this is an overall great take(the best out of the superman movies I've seen) on who Superman truly is and adapts the actual comics version of the character to the big screen instead of some "gritty realistic" version of him. This was such a great start to the beginning of this new universe of DC movies/shows and I'm extremely excited to see what comes next with Supergirl and everything after!

Lex Luthor, how do I even explain how good he was in this movie... insanely good performance from Nicholas Hoult, why is he so good in everything I see him in lol? I really like that he doesn't have some crazy sad backstory or reasons for wanting to kill Superman, he was just already that egotistical, envious and full of hate that seeing someone like Superman get praised for helping others makes him act like this. He feels he deserves the attention, the fame and appreciation because of how highly he sees himself compared to others. I really liked that his downfall wasn't even entirely due to Superman at all, but instead his girlfriend Eve and the reporters at the Daily Planet. It is not with brute strength that Lex is defeated, but by someone who he underestimated due to his own ego and arrogance. And on top of that to be humiliated by Krypto in the end, again someone he underestimated and wrote off, its so good omg. I saw someone mention that you can draw parallels between Lex Luthor here and Elon Musk, and I can for sure see that in terms of being a billionaire + having a huge ego (in very certain aspects tho considering Lex is one of the smartest people of the DC universe and Elon is FAR from smart lol). The part at the end where he gets so pissed at his evil plans being ruined that he starts crying is so hilarious oh my god

Other things I liked: The first live action Green Lantern to actually be written well (we don't speak of the green lantern movie) and its Guy Gardner of all people is so funny, loved his design, how he was acted, and the use of his ring to make giant middle fingers lol. I loved how they actually used his ring creatively! Hawkgirl had an amazing design, really cool action scenes and was the one who got to kill the evil president of Boravia I love her sm :D. Lois, Jimmy and the rest of the reporters were also great additions to the cast and I'm so glad they included and named all of them, even if they had little screentime, it just makes the world feel larger than just the superheros and adds to the comic book feel. Lois Lane, definitely one of the best iterations of her in live action! Shes not just a damsel that superman needs to save, in fact she goes on to save him! I also appreciate that she will actually argue with and challenge Clark when she feels she needs to. Another character I wasn't expecting but really enjoyed the inclusion of was Metamorpho! He looked amazing and I'm pretty sure it was practical effects for his appearance which I think continues to show how much love and dedication went into the making of this movie. .... will continue tmrw

Side note, being able to see Edi Gathegi get to perform in a superhero movie, and proceed to get the screentime, love, and appreciation he absolutely deserves after what they did to him as Darwin in X-men First Class, made me so so happy!! Mr. Teriffic is definitely a standout character and I'm so excited for anything they decide to do with him further (hopefully that tv show or movie I've seen rumors about).

4/12/2025: HALF-LIFE ALYX

Watched a playthrough of Half-Life Alyx since I'm unable to play VR games, these are alot of my thoughts about the game but more so just random notes instead of an actual review as I wrote them while watching (which also means some of them are kinda outdated? I make guesses about the plot early on). It was so good like the VR game mechanics and physics were insane, absolutely incredible to look at! The continued worldbuilding of City 17, the combine, and the vortigaunts, as well as the characterization of Alyx and Eli Vance is also super great!! Also these notes will include lots of spoilers!!

Game takes place 5 years before hl2… citadel is currently being built so the building of it is actually somewhat recent to hl2 which must also mean Breen moved his base of operations to City 17 pretty recently as well… built up then 5 years later it’s destroyed

People seem to be able to wear at least some of their own clothing at this point in city 17… so maybe as years pass and gets closer to hl2 time the rules in city 17 get more strict, therefore why civilians in the city were talking about raids happening more frequently

Lots more metro cop / combine propaganda around the city… do people apply to be a metro cop or are you just selected or taken in to become one?

Very interested in what actually happened in the world directly after the 7 hour war … Breen surrenders earth and then what happened? Did a bunch of people get killed immediately after (which I'm assuming is what happened... I believe most humans died due to portal storms before the 7 hour war?) or did they immediately start sending everyone to these specific cities? Since hl2 and Alyx takes place in Eastern Europe (I've seen people say it's in Bulgaria?) I’d love to know if there’s still people living in other parts of the world, like obviously there’s others cities than City 17 but where are they located? And how did people from the US etc get moved to the other side of the world? Did the combine move them or did they travel themselves? How long was it before the suppression field went up? I’m really interested in all that happened right after the combine takeover

The gravity gloves are very cool, good way to include vr elements and skills into the gameplay while keeping it related to the half life world itself! Also another thing love the addition of needing to use antlion grubs for the med stations… as Alyx doesn’t have a hev suit like Gordon there’s different ways to utilize them and I think the addition of grubs in canisters that are then basically juiced for the healing properties they drop … very cool to make the med stations work for Alyx while also again making it make sense in the lore of the world!

The vortigaunt Alyx meets! First of all awesome mural that paints out the events of the first game! More specifically the events that take place directly in Xen! Meaning that this vortigaunt either was in Xen and saw this all happen or got the knowledge through the hivemind they share.. Also interesting that this guy is cut off from the hivemind of vortigaunts and refers to it as a brain injury (which it actually likely is a brain injury considering he escaped from combine capture) … captured like that one combine we see that got tortured in hl2 in nova Prospekt but luckily this guy escaped.. When he said “your father is dead” as in “is already dead” but then says actually no “he WILL die” makes me think he could see into the future… OR another theory is that this is all a revisit of memories that Alyx is having after Eli’s death … maybe started by the G-man to convince her to do something for him… and this vortigaunt is her mind (or just an actual vortigaunt) trying to reach out to her through her memories to tell her what has happened or to get her out …. I find this guy super interesting and I hope we meet him again later in the game!Wow I was actually super close here! There was some weird timeline divergence and DID have to do with G-man trying to hire Alyx! Not neccessarily to do with memories though lol

New combine! Including I’m assuming factory workers… new giant man combine soldiers they are ginormous… awesome to see new variations with different outfits… wonder if these guys were sent off to other places and it’s why they don’t show up in hl2 (obviously I know the reason is this game came out like 17 years later and had a lot of graphical upgrades and they just didn’t have these designs at the time but it’s cool to think lore wise where these other varieties of combine soldiers were at during the fall of the citadel)

The fact we saw advisors so early on in the game being transported by train is so interesting to me… these horrible powerful creatures that seemed unbeatable and killed Eli at the end of hl2… just sitting there somehow killed in a train crash, like it seems so easy how they died here compared to them being unstoppable in the previous game. Also that the same train was carrying both advisors AND Eli at the same time, only a few carts away… and Alyx just walking by them confused and otherwise unconcerned about them not knowing they will be her fathers killer… it’s insane … you the player know how dangerous they are and what they’re capable of but she doesn’t

There are still animals like pigeons and cats around but no more pigs or cows? I’m assuming the combine killed off all livestock in order to dwindle humanity’s resources and numbers… making it so they have to rely on the food provided by the combine and they can’t go produce their own food… this would mean that in order to gain food you pretty much have to stay in the cities under combine control and observation… Makes civilians associate food with combine … they can’t make or grow their own so they have to take what’s provided, makes them reliant on the combine… I’m pretty sure that’s what most of the practices the combine utilizes is for.. they didn’t want to keep humanity around (at least according to what breen said) so instead they’re making humanity entirely reliant on them for shelter, food, entertainment, etc… so everyone is right where they want them to be… under surveillance… and when they find the time is right or don’t care anymore they can easily wipe everyone out if they wanted … also allows for easy access in order to grab whatever they need for their soldiers and workers… seeing as the combine and stalkers are humanoid to an extent, they can take however many humans they want to change and experiment on as they know they have an endless supply.

I hope Russel makes it into future installments because I'd also like to know where he was at during hl2, he's a hacker, very smart, attached to his creations, from New Zealand(?), remembers life before resonance cascade, almost worked at black mesa... like literally had his interview and was going to come back the next year(?)... but than the res cas occurred?? He really dodged a bullet omg … also he was friends with Eli from before I think? Which is how they know of each other and why they work together.

Eli already having his prosthetic leg here means he either lost it in black mesa or during the 7 hour war... I don’t think he could’ve made it out of black mesa with one leg so I’m assuming it happened after where he would have better access to medical…Is Gman watching over Alyx during this game / period of time … also so so interested in if Eli has actually seen G-man around during or before hl2… like I need to know if he continuous appeared to him throughout that 20 year period or if he just remembers him from black mesa and the resonance cascade… Really interesting detail that the game starts with “5 years before the fall of the citadel AND the death of Eli Vance”... like idk it’s interesting that they mentioned it specifically so does this game connect specifically with the ending of hl2 ep2? YES

Combine technology is so cool and unique I love the puzzles and how all those consoles you couldn’t interact with in hl2 you can interact with now and they’re actually way more advanced than just pressing buttons they fold out into this puzzle you have to move around and solve before doing anything it’s so cool. The combine using the vortigaunts to power their technology is interesting, like we knew they were torturing and studying them but idk if this is a new thing for hl Alyx. I know resin is mostly just a game mechanic used for upgrading weapons throughout the game but it’s alittle silly to think of them in game as this specific material the combine uses to make their stuff/upgrade combine weapons. Also !! The thing about how combine weapons are bonded with soldiers ?? Also interesting bc does that mean each gun is individually made for each soldier.. so if a soldier dies nobody can use that weapon anymore? Seems not very efficient considering how the combine operates but this is likely also just utilized for game mechanic sake (Alyx not being able to pick up combine weapons too early in the game unlike how Gordon was able to)... The combine trying to impersonate a fellow rebel by calling out to Alyx using her name... I hate to say it but that's actually really clever on their part...

In the distillery the creature Jeff is actually a combine worker I believe based on his pants (or a civilian worker considering he had a name Jeff and that other guy knew his name) whatever this weird spore or plant thing is that I’m assuming was introduced bc of the combine’s invasion of Earth mutated the poor man so completely and badly he is now nothing but a mindless monster that is ready to attack anything that makes even the smallest sound … the design especially of the head and how it splits open is like a Venus flytrap which is a super cool motif, it’s so freaky how it opens up and the sides of his face which is now essentially useless just flop around … curious on how Larry was just kinda vibing with him so maybe it was a former coworker… although he was also pretty chill with Alyx just killing Jeff lol … I definitely think killing him … even if in such a brutal way was definitely necessary, it was like putting him out of his misery and releasing him from the torture of continuing to live as that abomination that is no longer human.

I like that they keep the environment / location of post combine takeover (HL2 and Alyx) consistent like all the writing and signs and everything is in the local language not just English for no reason other than signs … even tho there’s a lot of English or formerly American characters the text and speech from before the combine is consistent with the location and I think it’s a neat detail and adds again to the worldbuilding and showing us where this is taking place / where city 17 is located in the post combine takeover world. Also the zoo / museum area with the ambient noise they would play in like a nature room or butterfly exhibit or something still playing after 20 years is neat! It adds to the ambience of the specific area so much.

The rest of my notes for the ending are really incoherent and full of all caps yelling about Gordon and G-man and Alyx as I got very emotional... so I wont be transcribing them here but I have some other notes from my instagram story I wrote later on that I want to include here as well.

3/31/2025: HALF-LIFE 2

Finished Half-Life 2 Ep 2 yesterday so now I've played the entire franchise (not including HL:Alyx bc I don't have any way to play a VR game) and now I don't know what to do with my time except wait for Half Life 3 (delusional moment)... However I plan on playing both portal games, since aperture science was mentioned in ep 2 so now I have to learn the portal lore, as well as some of the fangames/mods that I've heard good things about! Tomorrow I need to talk more about Half-Life 2 and the absolutely heartbreaking cliffhanger that just??? never gets elaborated on for 20 years??! Hoping there's more lore development in HL: Alyx that I'll get to learn about and that we'll eventually finally get Half-Life 3 :)

I would love to finally get an ending or at least some more info on what happens to the characters of Judith and Barney(my fav guy) bc neither of them appear in Ep 2 which was kinda a down side to that ep, although it was super great otherwise! They even built up the story of the Borealis and Alyx and Gordon going out to destroy(?) it, as well as potentially reconnect with Judith who, while not my favorite character, is really interesting to me! I would've loved to see her reaction to the news of what happened at the end of Ep 2, as well as continued development of her character and relationships with other characters like Alyx, the other scientists, and even Gordon. Now... Barney... I would've enjoyed it even if he only showed up briefly in Episode 2 like how he did in Episode 1. For example, he could've been the person who welcomed you to White Forest instead of just a random rebel! I would've even further connected the events of the two episodes as that would've implied that the train that Barney as well as all those rebels/civilians were on heading out of City 17 made it to White Forest as intended! It's so weird how Alyx and Gordon who went through a lot of side quests and obstacles somehow made it to White Forest before Barney did, meaning that either that train actually was heading to a completely different rebel base that just wasn't named, or something happened to it... meaning something bad happened to Barney :( ... or I guess he could've just been there in the background and just never showed up? Which would've been strange considering he's a main character? Or at least I always considered him to be one.